Onionania's blog

Dear Tiffany,
Please turn the following song into a theme. Or possibly a series of themes. Or just a one theme.

Thank you,
-Bill

So I was dimly aware that 3D printing technology existed, but it wasn't until reading this thing over at 1up.com that I realized HOW GODDAMN AWESOME it is. I mean... seriously. This is by far the coolest thing technology has done in at least ten years. Like, remember the Segway? When the guy was hyping it up to be this world changing thing, and then it turned out to be a scooter and kinda shitty? This thing is the complete opposite of the Segway. Because on top of having no hype (that I heard, anyway), it is pretty much the definition of rockin'. You make things in computers and then

it makes it in real life. It's like that thing about how any sufficently advanced technology looks like magic... except moreso because this is HI TECH SORCERY. This is like the Devil Machine... with it, we have eclipsed God Himself as the One True Creator. What I'm saying is that I want one of these. I can't wait for 50 years down the line when this thing actually becomes affordable. I'm gonna make lil' plaster babies and hide them underneath people's cars.

And also make a few Katamaris, because lets be honest, katamaris are awesome. Especially 50 years from now when it is the only reminder of a time when giant radioactive squid hadn't colonized the surface.

I mean, just listen to that. Who can even pay attention to the annilation of our species by monsters from the watery grave when the Prince is kicking it out Cosmic style?

I submit: Nobody. Nobody can. Until the steely embrace of Godless tentacles envelop them, and send them into the great inky beyond.

Favorite mascot? Mario Mario. Anyone who says otherwise is a damn liar, or a Sega fanboy who hasn't gotten over the mid-90s. Or a comminazi pedarest, because those are the only kinds of people there are in the world.

But uh...yes. Mario is the most fun. Super Mario Galaxy looks to be amazing, and Paper Mario 2 was one of the best games from this generation. Even the Mario Sports titles are fun. Amazingly so, considering they're little more than cash-in afterthoughts. Really, the only Mario franchise that needs to be put down for awhile is Mario Party (and then only until the Wii's out, since minigame collections are going to be an area where the Wii excels above all others).

Anyway. There may be better games out there, but I can't imagine anyone arguing Master Chief or Gordan Freeman or Solid Snake or Bubsy or whoever is more loveable. I mean, look at Paper Mario over there. Motherfucker is goddamn kawaiiiiii! And what characters might out charm him (Pikmin, the Loco Roco, the Prince, be he from Katamari or Persia) aren't mascots, so they're so many kinds of disqualified. As for mascots outside gaming... well. I mean, it's hard to pick a guy like the Honey Nut Cheerio Bee who only tries to trick you into buying Cheerios using rank deceipt over a guy who's provided hours upon hours of fun on top of trying to trick you into buying stuff you don't need.

Still need to get the album (and find out when the hell they tour near me again. If they play near you, see them fo' sho, fo' it is a kick ass show), but samples! Samples from the new album! Song for the Deatheaters and This Book is So Awesome.

Song for the Deatheaters are already one of my favorites by them. ROCK.

(More at der site.)
 
Also, new Fashion SWAT today. Which, being my favorite thing over at SomethingAwful is grood for me. This one in particular brings the awesome.

All in all, today was a good day. At least in terms of discovering things in the  bowels of the internets advanced tube technology.

This is pretty much the essence of me compressed into five minutes.

By which I mean my life is largely composed of looking sad in ponchos in public showers.

This movie features my roommates pretending as succubi. It also features me eating an orange pretending as making out sounds.

It also features an exceptionally poor transfer but YOU JUST SHUT UP ABOUT THAT.

I am taking Tiffany's advice and embedding these suckers, on the off chance that more people will watch them. Thus further whoring these out as much as possible.

The internet thinks this movie is about sex perverts, but it is not. Bad internet!